my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
