I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
