Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
All the doctor said was why
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
