they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
