I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
