Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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