he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
no more duck duck goose at the bar
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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