I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
