I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
