How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
