Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
im holly from the hills drunk
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
