It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
They should really pass out barf bags in church
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
