Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
