My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
