dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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