I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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