It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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