My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
