she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
