Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
