i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
