...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
