I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
