Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
