My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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