Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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