no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
