Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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