please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
