she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
