Who wears a wallet chain?!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
