just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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