would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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