I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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