I can tuck mytits in my pants
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
