well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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