And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
