This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
