she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
