at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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