Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
