the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
