mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
