That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize