Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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