Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize