Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
