Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
