I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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