I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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