Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
