So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
