i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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