This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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