u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
accomplished twins. life is a go
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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