There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
