ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
