Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
