I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
